AKA “How I Almost Died at Lunch Today”

The afternoon was like any other. Myself, hung over and tired, invited officemate and writer extraordinaire Joe Donatelli to get some lunch at local hot spot Thai Boom. We thought it would be a quick walk down the street to pick up our food. We thought we’d be back in a few minutes. We thought we’d be safe. We were wrong. What had started as a lovely summer afternoon quickly devolved into a nightmare of crime, anxiety, fear, and heavy artillery.

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It was all hands on deck aboard the Crusty Seaman this last Saturday as tourists were treated to a little taste of Hollywood.

Capt. Scott Tracy said he was wrapping up one of his whale watching tours, when one of his coworkers spotted something swimming on the starboard side of the boat. Upon taking a closer look, Tracy realized he was looking at Academy Award-winner Gabourey Sidibe.

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I’m not normally a sports guy, but this LeBron thing fascinates me. As poor Cleveland mourns the loss of a huge asshole, Miami sports fans created an impromptu welcoming committee for their newest player. Local officials are calling it the largest sports-based assembly in the city’s history.

Local police feared the gathering could reach into the double digits.

Special Birthday shout out to NotZombies contributor Unicorntastic! Bday comic after the jump! Continue Reading

My buddy started a site called Funny Cell Pics and we want your help. I know you have some funny cell phone pictures on your phone that you took, showed to a friend, and then promptly forgot about. Send them to Funny Cell Pics! Here’s a link to his submission email. And here are some winners he already has up: Continue Reading