The Most Hipster Band I Have Ever Seen
Holy Hell, I just got sent this video by The Freelance Whales from a friend and yes, I actually kind of like the song (I liked it a lot more before I saw this video) but are they trying to win some sort of Silverlake “Hipsters of the Year” award or something? Let’s examine each one of these:
- This guy is not that bad. Haircut his band member gave him, the beard of a young high schooler taking his first stab at facial hair, dime-store thermal under his little brothers T-shirt, and jeans that look about 2 sizes too small. But, in the grand scheme of the band, not that bad.
- This girl takes the cake, candles, milk, table cloth… hell she takes the whole kitchen. Stupid leggings, denim vest, second-hand ringer T, ironic bowl cut, large, black glasses, and sweet sassy Jesus, what is she playing? Was an accordion not alternative enough for her?
- Second least hipster-y guy in the band still sports ratty plaid, unkempt face, and a cab hat. He also foregoes any sort of drumset and just throws a tom drum on a chair. God knows what sort of vintage, out-dated instrument he’s got hidden behind that chair.
- A xylophone. An F’ing xylophone.
- Also rocking clunky glasses, plaid, tight jeans, and fedora (cocked to the back, because F it), how mad is this guy that Bruno Mars stole his look? At least he has his banjo. Is he from the Appalachian Mountains? If you aren’t Kermit the Frog or Steve Martin you should not play a banjo.
As if all this thrift-store clothing and twee instrumentation wasn’t bad enough, they’re playing in what looks like a hotel lobby for NPR. WE GET IT, Freelance Whalers, we get it: You’re all about the music. I better go before a guy with a jug decides to jam with them and I really lose my s**t.